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The title of tonight's Wacko Wednesday flick contains a not so subliminal message, that I'm sure somebody out there is bound to figure out! Pass it on!
I was going to try and do "Password: Kill Agent Gordon" vs. "You Only Live Twice" but there was just no comparison, so after about three attempts, I gave up! Roger Browne is secret agent Doug Gordon! Besides being a secret agent, Dougie is quite the ladies man!
He's got himself a new assignment as an agent, not a secret agent, but undercover as a talent agent!! The music that backs Agent Gordon up through this whole adventure was written by Piero (SMOG, DEATH AT THE DEEP END OF THE SWIMMING POOL) Umilani!! The song "You Play To Win" was written, and I'm assuming sung by, Carol Danell, who was also an actress and in the Sci-Fi flick "Il Pianeta Degli Uomini Spenti," or "Battle Of The Worlds!"
Doug's first film was "13 Fighting Men" back in 1960, and from there it was sword and sandal city for at least five years in roles such as Mars, Glaucus Valerius, Marcus, Valerio, Fabio, Marcus Aulus, and Mars!
I never have been able to get it how these guys can fight in a suit and tie, I have enough problems just putting one on!!
Pretty tough assignment as you can well see!!
The smokin' hot Rosalba (LADY FRANKENSTEIN, THE DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT) Neri is Amalia! Kind of makes you wish smoking didn't kill you!
It's the old "room service brings you acid instead of alcohol" routine! To this day I don't trust room service!
Agent Gordon finds out the bad guys are smuggling guns, not water and minerals!
Luckily for Agent Gordon, there was also a big black market bowling ball smuggling operation going on!
Of all the things I never want to do in my life, getting smacked in the face with a bowling ball is right up there at the top of the list!!
Rosalba's part in the film is cut short!
Agent Gordon is master of many fighting skills including the ability to toss his opponent into a stack of tires, or smashing their face directly into the nearest wall!!
Helga (THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER, NIGHTMARE CASTLE, MR.X) Liné is Karin, and she's got herself in a bit of hot water!
Agent Gordon is also a master of disguise!!
Doug has had enough, this next guy is over and out!!! Bad guys just never seem to learn!
Franco (TRUSTING IS GOOD...SHOOTING IS BETTER) Ressel has the role of the cross dressing Kastiadis and/or Albert Kowalski!! Talk about chomping on the drapes!!
Unlike James Bond, Agent Gordon doesn't need any fancy special gadgets, he has the ability to destroy his opponents with whatever is at his disposal, like in this case, a fire extinguisher!!!
Go on ahead and get it over with, Torch it already!!!!!
No. 1, FORBIDDEN PLANET - What else?!.. Everything about this movie is top notch, mind blowing for an eight year old, my dad loved sci-fi and took me to see this one. It was all about Robby The Robot and the Id Monster! 
No. 2, THE BLOB - I was only ten when my dad took me to see this one! I loved the theme song, still have the 45, but, when Steve sees the doctor covered in the blob through the window, I flipped out. I spent a lot of time in the lobby sitting on a lounge chair, twitching, while my dad kept watching to movie. You could smoke in the theater back then. 
No. 3, THE FLY - Another one my dad took me to, I was ten again. This movie was very creepy, and, when the hood covering Al's hideous head is finally pulled off by his wife, well, I fainted! The hairy claw and that twitching fly face, a true terror classic! It's hard for me to watch this one now, it's so damn sad. 
No. 4, KRONOS - I totally loved this wild one, it had all the good sci-fi stuff going on including that awesome destroyer of worlds! John Emery was perfect as the scientist taken over by the alien force. 
No. 5, THE BLACK SCORPION - I saw a lot of movies with neighborhood kids on Saturday afternoons, we thought this one was great. The close-up of the hero monster growling and slobbering will never be forgotten! They actually turned up the volume for those scenes! I think we sat near the front for this one. 
No. 6, TARANTULA! - The best giant spider movie, great process shots, great makeup! What I remember most was Leo G. Carroll in bed as the monster tears the house apart, his contorted face in the shadows! 
No. 7, THE 7th VOYAGE OF SINBAD - Oh man, we loved this film so much, a real kid's favorite. It had everything a kid could want, we salute you Ray Harryhausen!! 
No. 8, CURSE OF THE DEMON - This is one excellent British horror film, great story that involves magic runes and a giant devilish demon from Hell, and, it only comes out at night!! 
No. 9, THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK - This was a great movie to see at the time, the Colossus was an amazing piece of work, dude was immense! 
No. 10, THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN - Another excellent movie, but, what I remember the most was feeling lost and very depressed at the end, it's torturess to watch as Grant constantly goes from one bad situation to another!
I've never been a big fan of slasher films, but I've learned to really like the Giallo genre over the years, because most of them have very cool music, well thought out and Edgar Wallace like twisted story lines, and top of the line cinematography, but the rest of them are just garbage as far as I'm concerned, and that's the category that tonight's feature falls into! Not trash mind you, but garbage! Most of the time I just give people credit for even making a movie, but not this time!
This ain't "The Girl From Ipanema" but just the same, all the guys go Aaahhh!
The guy with the camera and the world's ugliest swim suit is just like all the characters in this film, obnoxious and totally unlikable!
Bad portrayals of loathsome clowns doesn't endear the viewer at all! Maybe I'm being too hard on this film, if it was 3 minutes long, it might have been pretty good!
Peeping in on the perverts!! I'm guessing just about one third of this film is naked people! If you like seeing nude people getting killed, then this is the film for you, but make sure and get the kids a babysitter first!!
The music for "Nude Per L'assassino" or as it was released in America, "Strip Nude For Your Killer" is pretty cool in a Miles Davis kind of way, and is definitely the highlight of the movie! Funny, the literal translation would be "Nude For The Murderess!" The music was written by Berto Pisano who also composed the music for movies with titles like "Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!," "They Were Called Three Musketeers But They Were Four," and "Exciting Love Girls!"
The best part of the movie is when these eight guys have a pissing contest in the park!
The ultimate party whiskey, J & B, must have been one of the major financial backers!!
Who cares? Get it over with!! There are over 1200 words in the English language that have 'ass' in them, but I think only the different variations of 'assassin' have 'ass' in them twice!
First thing most people do with they find out a rabid killer is on the loose is parade around in the altogether!
Lookin' for clues in all the wrong places! Nice inexpensive Halloween costume!!
If we find the person who owned this, we will find the killer! Yeah, buddy, it was freakin' Frosty The Snowman!
You're entitled to your own opinion, here's mine!! Just like this guy's feet, this movie stinks! Here's five other things that happened in 1975 that are far more interesting than this film! #01 - The United States Patent and Trademark Office is renamed U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, #02 - "Wheel of Fortune" premieres on NBC, #03 - Mozambique gains independence from Portugal, #04 - Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Frazier in "The Thrilla in Manilla," and #05 - The heavy metal band "Iron Maiden" is formed by Steve Harris!